"Best Laid Schemes" and Proper Wargamers

It was a simple plan.  I’d been before to the Crisis show in Antwerp. The hotel was booked.  A car-parking space at the hotel was booked.  The restaurant was booked.  The figures and terrain were finished.  I was fit and healthy.  My passport was valid and my E111 in date.  I had blogged that I was heading to Antwerp last Friday and kind souls like those reading this post had responded – I was welcome.  Life was good. What could possibly go wrong?

Ahhhh. “The best laid schemes of mice and men Gang aft agley”.  How true.  How damnably true.

I got a call from a client last Thursday lunchtime.  They needed something.  No, it really couldn't wait. Yes it would be finished by … Monday.  Yes, there were meetings involved and when was I coming to their offices to help sort it all out?

So much for my "simple plan", wrecked by having to work this weekend while my other chums from the St Albans Wargames Club had a fantastic time in Antwerp.  

To everyone who I told I was coming – many, many apologies.  I mention that not because meeting me is in any way exciting (it really isn't!), but just because I hate saying I’ll do something and then not being able to do it.  And this is the second time in a month that it’s happened, the first with getting the ‘flu.  I am beginning to wonder if Lady Luck has deserted me this Autumn. 

My next planned outing is with my great chum Mike to Dragonmeet 2012 in December.  I am expecting a hurricane or impenetrable snowstorm to descend in the vicinity of St Albans just in time to prevent me getting to Kensington Town Hall for the event.  I hope not, and I'm only an amateur weather forecaster, but you have been warned...!

Away from simple plans to a great blogpost from the wonderful blog of Phil Broeders.  He posted a super post yesterday “Are you a proper wargamer”.  I’ve seen a few bloggers rising to the challenge, and Big Lee even devised a points system for his response (simple to spot the army list builder there, Lee!!).

Here’s my answers:

* Spent at least £500 on figures / tanks - and you get extra kudos for every £500 you've spent

Yes.  About £500 a year, all told, including paints, brushes, terrain materials and whatnot on the hobby.  This seems an awful lot, but I rationalise it by thinking that its about £10 a week on the hobby I love.  I’m sure there’s worse things I can spend £10 on.

* Pricked your finger or thumb on a pike block - several times

Yes, and yes, several times. 

* Tried at least 10 different rule sets and vowed never to play half of them ever again

Yes.  There must be dozens of copies of rules hanging around my house, supplemented my own home-brewed attempts (mostly rubbish) that I've tried to concoct over the years. 

* Bought an army off EBay

No, although I've purchased figures on Ebay from time to time.

* Sold an army on EBay

No.  I've not sold any figures that I can think of.  Given quite a few away (and been given them), but not sold any.  And yes, the garden shed does stand on reinforced concrete to stop it’s leaden contents sinking into the Hertfordshire soil.

* spent months painting an army - then used it in anger once

Ah Phil, you must be thinking of my 28mm Japanese Samurai army from the Sengoku period.  Not quite used once, but certainly less times than I’d like to have used it.  One day, mes braves, one day …

* tried several different periods and genres

Oh yes.  Just about every period imaginable has seen my ham-fisted attempts at generalship over the years. 

* dropped a box of figures on the floor from a great height

Not that I can recall.

* lost a battle on the last throw of the dice

Yes, a few times.  But defeat usually steals into my camp far, far earlier than that.

* made at least one enemy for life

No.  I’d be heartbroken and mortified if I had done.

* had a proper, stand up argument over a wargamers' table

No.  I can’t think of any.  You tend not to get into arguments when you’re not that bothered about winning.

* thrown a dice across a room

Almost every week.  It is a standing joke at the St Albans club that I'm nearly incapable of throwing the dice on the table.  I have acquired my own dice box to roll without scattering the dice like shrapnel everywhere. It nerves.  Knowing you're going to roll a double 1 is a terrible thing, friends.

* rebased an army for a different rule set

Yes.  Ah, WRG 2^nd Edition Renaissance rules, how I do miss you...

.

* inflicted a whopping defeat on an opponent

Only accidentally or through sheer happenstance.

* suffered an embarrassing defeat due to a stupid tactical decision

Usually a weekly event about 9.30pm every Tuesday (bank holidays excluded) at the St Albans Wargames Club and at every TooFatLardies Games Day yet.  “Run Forrest Run…”

* joined a wargamers club

Yes.  Three clubs – Wolfreton School, Humberside and St Albans – in 31 years.  By far the best things I have ever done in the hobby, giving me a lifetime of wonderful friends.

* bought a ton of lead that remains unpainted

Maybe not a ton.  But my lovely wife will tell you otherwise.

* been to a wargamers show

Yes.  Many, but never enough.  And, depressingly, not Crisis 2012 (see above).

* have more dice than is logical or necessary to own - and have used most of them

Yes.  It’s an addiction.

* have taken boxes of troops down to a club just to show them off to your mates

Yes.  Usually to try and entice clubmates into some new period or to persuade them that even though I am the world’s worst wargamer as regards tactics, I do still have some uses.  Lord only knows what they'll say to me once 3D colour printing arrives, though...

Thanks again to Phil for a great set of questions!